Percussion Trouble-Lipstick on my nipple

[RonRC]

Looks like I am in trouble with my wife.

It started innocently enough. It looked like the lip of the hammer on my recently discovered, pawnshop T/C Cougar was hitting the "nut" at the base of the nipple before it would hit a cap or the top of the nipple.
How to tell? Easy. I borrowed my wife's lipstick and smeared some on the top of the nipple. Then, I pulled the trigger and let the hammer down on the nipple. The next step was to wipe a Q-tip on the area of the hammer that should strike the cap.
Sure enough, there was lipstick on the hammer as well as on my nipple. Problem solved....until I was spotted replacing the lipstick in the drawer in the bathroom.
"Dear, you want an explanation about what I was doing with your lipstick?"..."It all started when I needed it for my.....
Ron (currently in hiding)

 

[Huntin_Dawg1215]

That was a good idea to track down your problem. Buutttttt you used the wrong person stuff, let along getting caught putting it back. Hind sight being 20/20 you should have asked first.

Please don't tell me were you are hiding I can't take pain well and I might be forced to tell. :rotf:

 

[RonRC]

Laptop running out of power down here in the crawl space. :wink:
Ron

 

[Len Graves]

Might want to get yourself a large dog with a house large enough for two. More explaining will just make worse.

 

[Ken Cormier]

Buy flowers,diamonds and paint the porch. She will lighten up in a few years. :v:

 

[ohio ramrod]

Buy her a new lipstick and keep the old one for yourself. It will come in handy and you won't have to worry about her, Just the "odd" fellows on the firing line! :hmm:

 

[cynthialee]

Buy her a new lipstick and keep the old one for yourself. It will come in handy and you won't have to worry about her, Just the "odd" fellows on the firing line! :hmm:

just be sure to get the exact same shade and brand and this is a golden plan

 

[tenngun]

Take her with you. As a matter of science women can see about twice as many colors as men. lipsticks that look the same to us are as different as red and ornge to them. You cant do anything about it. Just put on richard harris from 'camalot', follow the advice, make sure you have plenty of insulation in the dog house as winter is apon us.

 

[nwtradegun]

women have now inckling as to what is important.

 

[necchi]

:haha:

 

[Hawgeye]

Your wife is obviously a compassionate, well adjusted, and understanding person. I borrowed just a little dab of passion fruit red Maybelline from the wife's collection when I ran out of inletting black. Not only did she post the theft to my face-book page the day before my birthday, she hinted that her pink fluffy flip-flops were not where she left them.

 

[Zonie]

That was a novice mistake but the important thing is you learned from the experience.

Anyone who is going to work on their muzzleloader should go to the local drug store.

The idea here is to look for the cheapest, crappiest, most God awful color they have and buy it.

As soon as you get home, show her your new lipstick along with the receipt and tell her, "It's for my muzzleloading rifle (or pistol)."
(She already thinks your nuts so she shouldn't be too surprised).

Doing this will keep her from jumping to the conclusion that you've found a girlfriend with truly bad taste. Of course she might jump to that conclusion anyway while she is thinking, "Yah. Anyone that would be after him would buy that kind of lipstick. Hussy!"

Now that I give this further thought, maybe it would be best to sneak it into the house and hide it in the back of your muzzleloading junk drawer.

If she finds it, at least she won't assume it was stolen from after she sees the color.
As for her suspicions about there being some new lover in your life, your on your own there.

No one ever said this muzzloading stuff would be easy. :rotf:

 

[RonRC]

I am a slow learner.

My 5' 110 lb wife asked me if her bluejeans made her butt look like the side of the house.
I said "No. The side of the house isn't blue." :slap:

She traveled to visit me while I was working in South Africa. I introduced her as my "American wife."

Returned home from a short weekend trip with her. All my clothes were in an old Army duffel bag. Told my son to get the old bag out of the car.
I did not know she was still in the car. And, I was referring to the duffel bag. I pleaded innocence. Didn't help. :idunno:

This is the poor, suffering spouse with her socially maladjusted husband (full disclosure: photo from about 5 years ago):

Ron

 

[coloradoclyde]

They say that the average woman will absorb through her skin 14 pounds of lipstick over her lifetime.

 

[F.G. Ford]

Rather than lip stick, may I suggest "preparation H", for your next venture.
It won't hurt as much!
Fred

 

[Ken Cormier]

You Sir a lucky man that she has not run you off years ago :rotf: :rotf: :rotf:

 

[Heelerau]

Mate,
know how you feel, as sadly I to am always in the manure, only the depth ever varies !!
Abject toadying might be the only hope !!

cheers

Heelerau

 

[cynthialee]

They say that the average woman will absorb through her skin 14 pounds of lipstick over her lifetime.

not this one
I wear it maybe 3 or 4 times a year. Stuff has lead in it. I have plenty of lead exposure as it is with my shooting.

 

[VEARL]

I'M NOT EVEN GOING ANYWHERE NEAR THIS TOPIC. D
EATH IS AN UGLY THING TO SEE.

 

[Patocazador]

Wrong approach from the start. A trip to the auto parts store and a tube of prussian blue would have saved you from your indignities .. if you can keep your mouth shut. :nono: