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Strange Day for Me in the Woods.

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Don't know what happened, but I do know I have killed my last animal
My late father-in-law hunted for many years. He had a pocket sized notebook in which he wrote down all the kills he had made over the years; deer, bear, bobcats, fishercats, woodchucks and rabbits.

Later in life he said that looking at a deer in the woods, he decided that they were just too pretty to shoot. He thought that he might bring a camera the next time he went into the woods.
 
This change in motivations seems to come to many of us as the decades accumulate. At 70, I sure don't have that fire in the belly that I did when 20 years old and a "full bag limit" was my goal, whether of quail, grouse or trout. While I have hunted several seasons with a muzzleloader -- either a TC or a Lyman GPR -- I have never had a shot. Wouldn't mind killing a doe or meat buck -- or, here in Texas, an Axis doe for the freezer. I would happily whack one of these feral hogs I keep hearing about. But having been present at and often the cause of death of a number of large animals, I have come to appreciate the absolute miracle of life on this planet and the fact that as a human, I can snuff it out in an instant, but am utterly helpless to create or resurrect it. So it is a thing I do not take lightly. Of course, I have no issue at all with anyone else taking game. We have a responsibility to manage the populations of wild things whose habitat we have messed up.
 
As others have said though I am not vegan, nor woke, but I no longer want to kill woodland creatures. Let them enjoy their lives unless they threaten me, my dogs or my livestock. This is very rare, but I usually carry a 44 Magnum pistol for self defence only in woods that might have dangerous animals. I do practice on paper targets and clay pigeons.

Shoot pictures, and that is enough for me.
 
Thanks for posting this, the past two years I've passed up 2 of the biggest buck's ever on our place,for the past 40 years I'd have given my eye teeth to get a poke at one like these two I let 'em both walk.
I've been thinking something is seriously wrong with me After reading these responses I see this is a natural progression of life . Nice to know I'm not alone in this situation
 
Almost 77 years old, I have a strong desire to get up in the mountains on a crisp, cool day. The desire to hunt is not so strong.
Now, with mobility issues (I had to learn to walk again), mountain walking is out of the picture, so hunting is, too.
How do I know that the hunting drive is no longer there? On one of my working trips to South Africa in 2019, I was invited to stay at a game reserve owned by a friend. In the morning, they handed me a 1945 Lee Enfield rifle and we began to drive around the looking for an appropriate game animal. This one was too young. That one was a trophy class animal and was too valuable to shoot casually for meat. At the end of the day we had not harvested a single animal. My friend apologized profusely for not finding the proper game. It was then I realized that it did not bother me at all. I just enjoyed the ride around the game preserve, watching the animals. .
I've had the privilege to take a kudu and a Wildebeest at friend's game preserves and that was just fine. I had no desire to do that anymore.
Part of the kudo went to make biltong -beef jerky. The rest went to the workers on the preserve. The Wildebeest went to a a squatters village.
 
David Petzal, rifles editor of Field and Stream answered a letter in his column a few years back that stuck with me. It was an old guy who had started letting some deer walk, he just couldn't pull the trigger, and asked Petzal "What the hell is wrong with me?" I can identify with that question. I have, through my years of hunting, just let a deer walk (bucks and does). Just did not shoot. Why? Guess I understood what I was doing. With one pull of the trigger, that deer would "never see another sunrise." I have always had a tinge of remorse at every deer I've killed along with the elation. Don't know why. Guess we're all made different. But for all of us who no longer always pull the trigger, I leave you with Petzal's answer to that guy: "There's not a damned thing wrong with you."
 
I totally get it. As I'm getting older my outlook on all life has changed from my younger years. I still hunt but I honestly think its because of my son and the shared interest. I do love venison and found that should I quit hunting I can always get on a list at the local processing guy to buy a deer that some so called hunter doesn't pay for. All I pay is processing fee. Enjoy the great outdoors my friend
I call the local police and get on a road kill list ,they called me 2 week ago and got that one in the freezer now. Plus one was killed on the road right on my property line he is in the freezer also
 
David Petzal, rifles editor of Field and Stream answered a letter in his column a few years back that stuck with me. It was an old guy who had started letting some deer walk, he just couldn't pull the trigger, and asked Petzal "What the hell is wrong with me?" I can identify with that question. I have, through my years of hunting, just let a deer walk (bucks and does). Just did not shoot. Why? Guess I understood what I was doing. With one pull of the trigger, that deer would "never see another sunrise." I have always had a tinge of remorse at every deer I've killed along with the elation. Don't know why. Guess we're all made different. But for all of us who no longer always pull the trigger, I leave you with Petzal's answer to that guy: "There's not a damned thing wrong with you."
I just enjoy being out and seeing them
 
Went out hunting this afternoon here in NW Missouri. Our regular Firearm Deer Season is currently open, and I elected to take my Pedersoli Frontier Rifle in .54. Hunting a remote piece of public ground where only muzzleloaders are allowed. Walked way back in the woods and found a spot that looked promising, and sat on a handy fallen log that was up against a tree. Beautiful day, and as far as I could tell, I was the only hunter around. Half an hour after sitting, two does came ambling by, and I watched them wander off after several minutes. An hour later as I was looking off down the holler, I saw a large, majestic 10 point buck headed my way. I first saw him about 130 yards out, and my heart started pounding as he came ever closer. I watched him for several minutes, and he eventually came within 20 yards. He was a large mature buck, with a wide spread and high antlers, a rarity on public land. As I watched him and positioned myself for the can't miss shot, something strange happened. I have been a lifelong hunter, taking many deer over the decades, but today was different. As I watched him eat acorns, totally unaware of my presence, I was overcome by a desire to not kill him. I went out today with every intention of killing a nice buck if the opportunity came. However, as I sat there watching him, I was actually saddened by the thought of him being dead, especially as he was just enjoying the day eating his lunch. I lowered the hammer on my rifle, and just watched him for several more minutes, until he finally meandered out of sight.

Don't know what happened, but I do know I have killed my last animal. Not turning woke or going vegan, nor am I being critical of those who do hunt, but all my desire to ever shoot another critter died today. I shot my rifle into a stump and cleaned it this evening. I will be out in the woods again tomorrow, rifle in hand, but it will not be loaded. Hopefully I will see my new "friend" again. Getting old does weird things to a fella.
Same thing happened to my mom. After years of hunting, she drew down on a doe one evening, and said it turned and LOOKED at her. She never shot another animal for almost 50 years.
Jay
 
I have shot only 1 "antlered" deer in my life. For me it was never about the "trophy". For very many years there just weren't that many deer around and so, I did not hunt them. Then the population blossomed and they (DNR) actually needed folks to help control the population of the "herd", help prevent the spread of diseases such as CWD etc. So I started hunting them again. Most of them went to a locker that participated in the HUSH program - the deer are processed, mostly into ground meat, and given to low income families.
 
I had one of my best days hunt ever today. The grandson came and we went deer hunting, saw about 20 deer feeding in the fields today with 4 small bucks. The boy has been away in the Army and had not been hunting with me since he was little. This was the first time that he was old enough to tote his own rifle. I was glad that he decided to wait for a big deer to be his first. Supposed to be cold and damp next week when he and his new bride are coming to hunt. Gonna have a great THANKSGIVING this year.
 
This year, I watched a yearling meet up with an older doe. They spotted each other & ran to meet up. They shared a moment of happiness as they nuzzled each other & then fed together for a while until it got dark. It was cool to see them have such an emotional reaction to each other & I figured that they were probably a mother-daughter. Whatever it was, they obviously new and loved each other a lot. I'm not yet at the point where I won't pull the trigger when I'm out hunting. But the day that I stop having a tinge of remorse over taking a life is the day that somebody needs to take my guns away.
I observed many similar moments as a farmer (dairly cattle, sheep, hogs, horses... even chickens will surprise you). Made it tough to keep at it. The better I get to know them, the more I see myself in each of the animals I've known. I had cows who were every bit as affectionate as dogs, even insisting on "kissy time" (licking my arm) each time before milking. One memorable hog would regularly roll onto her back and present her tummy for tummy-rubs, which put her in a blissful trance.

I've watched deer playing an undeniable game of "tag" in the spring woods, yet hunted them for years. With the animals I've known before eating, I didn't feel the expected remorse so much as a dramatically elevated appreciation for the lives I'd taken. Felt it was a shame that so few knew the value of the lives that became their meals. Deer were easier because I never knew them personally -- most of the time.

At one time I tried to nurse a young button buck back to health after he got stuck in one of our fences. Initially called the DNR, who simply offered to put him down as I could have easily done. I thought he'd just wrenched a hip at first, though ultimately realized he was paralyzed and put him down at that point. Seeing the look on his face as he smacked his lips in anticipation of the apples I brought him was pretty endearing. At first he was terrified of my presence, but eventually grew to be quite friendly. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss.
 
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I found after working the WorldTrade Center recovery (help IDing the victims) for 7 months. I could no longer enjoy the kill/dressing of big game as I had before 911 the bear skin in my avatar is one of the few I have taken since. I'm more of a paper hunter punching holes in targets or steel . I still enjoy stocking but I don't have to shoot
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Went out hunting this afternoon here in NW Missouri. Our regular Firearm Deer Season is currently open, and I elected to take my Pedersoli Frontier Rifle in .54. Hunting a remote piece of public ground where only muzzleloaders are allowed. Walked way back in the woods and found a spot that looked promising, and sat on a handy fallen log that was up against a tree. Beautiful day, and as far as I could tell, I was the only hunter around. Half an hour after sitting, two does came ambling by, and I watched them wander off after several minutes. An hour later as I was looking off down the holler, I saw a large, majestic 10 point buck headed my way. I first saw him about 130 yards out, and my heart started pounding as he came ever closer. I watched him for several minutes, and he eventually came within 20 yards. He was a large mature buck, with a wide spread and high antlers, a rarity on public land. As I watched him and positioned myself for the can't miss shot, something strange happened. I have been a lifelong hunter, taking many deer over the decades, but today was different. As I watched him eat acorns, totally unaware of my presence, I was overcome by a desire to not kill him. I went out today with every intention of killing a nice buck if the opportunity came. However, as I sat there watching him, I was actually saddened by the thought of him being dead, especially as he was just enjoying the day eating his lunch. I lowered the hammer on my rifle, and just watched him for several more minutes, until he finally meandered out of sight.

Don't know what happened, but I do know I have killed my last animal. Not turning woke or going vegan, nor am I being critical of those who do hunt, but all my desire to ever shoot another critter died today. I shot my rifle into a stump and cleaned it this evening. I will be out in the woods again tomorrow, rifle in hand, but it will not be loaded. Hopefully I will see my new "friend" again. Getting old does weird things to a fella.
We need to talk….
 
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