When is the hole to big? Is there a standard?
No, there isn't a standard. Manufacturers have different sizes, a lot of it has to do with patent infringement.
Here's the gig,, we each develop an accurate load for each of our rifles with the components we have at hand,, defining that accuracy is up to the individual.
I have found Knight RedHot nipples to work well with my loading regime. The actual orifice for those nipples is .032
I get around 300 shot's with those using a hot load of T7 under a tight PRB combo before the group starts to open. I have never measured to see if they open to .033 or more because of use,, simply because gas-cutting isn't always "round" or symmetrical.
I've tried other nipples, some that just happened to have larger and smaller orifice size, but my load variables need to change to get the same accuracy I want. Keeping the same nipple (for me) is just another variable I can control.
Point is, there isn't really a defined "best" orifice size because the other load issues can and should be adapted to the combination.
Get it?
For me, the relative inexpensive nipple is easy to change and experience has shown that it's one of the simplest to test. When none of the other load dynamics have changed,, getting a new/clean nipple brings it back together.