Hey guys, this is meant in jest. If we can't laugh at ourselves, we're missing a lot.

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HOW TO SHOOT A SOUP CAN OFF A FENCE POST, THE PRIMITIVE WAY, ANALLY. Option #1-
Months, weeks, and days prior to tin can day a huge number of pre-shooting trials are necessary to find the optimal combination of the following: powder brand, granulation and amount; patch material, thickness, shape, and diameter; ball lead purity, diameter, sprue removal, weight; patch lube, commercial or diy concoction and degree of patch saturation.
Balls – inspect each one and carefully file any mold marks and especially any hint of sprue. Mark the spot where the sprue previously was with a magic marker dot. Just because it's gone doesn't mean its forgotten. Weigh each ball and group by weight in groups of no > .3 grain variation.
Patches – having determined optimal material, thread count, thickness, shape, and diameter, you are GTG unless you are one of those cut at the muzzle guys. If you are in that group, you can skip testing to determine optimal shape. {note: I sincerely hope you made the “right” choice here, if not well . . . ?}
Powder – using either 2F or 3F of the brand you have pre-determined by trials as the best, you now need to take the amount by volume that you determined was most accurate and then weigh enough of those charges to determine, to the exact grain, the optimal weight of the best charge by volume. Once that is known, weigh each charge then put them in vials for transport to the range.
One more step for flintlock shooters – Flints – what's the right type of rock, width and length, degree of bevel, bevel up or down, angle of frizzen impact, check your flints for sharpness and knap if needed. Got leather or lead (whichever is better) for the cock jaws? Caplock guys, breathe easy on this one.

THE DAY OF THE SHOOT
  1. Using a drop tube, charge with one vial of powder. Remove the tube.
  2. Thump stock on the offside of the lock to settle the powder. Use same number of strikes with the same amount of force each time.
  3. Center patch on muzzle (unless you one of those cutter guys, in that case cut it off).
  4. Center ball on patch. Orient the dot marking the former sprue location in the center of the muzzle and facing the target.
  5. Use short starter to start the patched ball.
  6. Place butt of rifle on bathroom scale. Using a range rod with a muzzle protector, seat the patched ball onto the powder using either several short, hand over hand strokes, or one continuous stroke (as pre-determined, of course) until the mark on the rod that indicates full seating is reached AND the optimal amount of seating force as shown on the scale (again as pre-determined) is reached. If you are a bouncer, now is your time to shine. Bounce, “once, twice, three times a lady” (sorry, that’s something else entirely).
  7. Remove the range rod.
  8. Prime the pan with 4F or 5F (yep, pre-determined grade, amount, placement regarding touch hole). Close frizzen. Caplock guys, just cap the nipple then take five. Make sure you put on your eyes, ears, coonskin cap. As you can see, it’s MUCH simpler and faster to shoot a caplock.
  9. Cock, aim, pull the trigger.
  10. If the can remains on the fence post, think about what could have possibly caused this tragedy, then do it all again. This is fun, remember???!!!
Option #2 – Not as anal. grab the can, your eyes and ears, your rifle, some powder, patches, balls, and powder measure and head to the woods.
 
The lack of a pre shot routine and rather sloppy powder handing habits have already been mentioned but what I really want to know is?

Who would go through that much work and then not bring their weather station to shoot the can? How can you make the proper load and sighting corrections for the actual current conditions without it? Barometric pressure, humidity and that kind of stuff matters. No mention of the anemometers you’re using. Did you even bother to calculate the spin drift or coriolis effect? You really underestimated the variables in play trying to hit a can 50 yards away and attempted this feat completely unprepared. No wonder you missed.

P.S. You should always use a calibrated drop tube, not just a regular one. Only draw back to the calibrated one is that you always have to be facing South when using it but the positives far outweigh this minor inconvenience.

-End sarcasm-
As an option 2 kind of person I got a kick out of reading option 1.
 
One of my role models (W.C. Fields) said it best. “If at first you don’t succeed, give up. There’s no since in being a damn fool about it.”
I understand completely. One of my role models, a guy who never exactly wore himself out from overwork, was Onslow from the Brit TV series Keeping Up Appearances.
 
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